yamiyoujitsu

it's all better now

im sorry...but i need to vent...even though i finished my period already...

After 4 long years of desperately trying to avoid drama, it all suddenly caught up to me...

sigh...

couples i thought would be together for a long time are breaking up, people who used to be good friends are starting to hate each other, friends are getting depressed, a lot of people need comfort...

it seems as if the world is falling apart...><
I can't take all of this drama...all of it reminds me of how much of a bitch i was when i broke up with my boyfriend...i've been getting more depressed lately over nothing, and unfortunately my self-esteem has plummetted once again...i've been taking in so much caffeine people worry that i might die...i don't eat real meals as much anymore...and i still throw up dinner...and i exercise a lot...and ever since i got into Manhattanville College i've almost completely given up in school...i no longer want to do anything...i just want to stay home and finally start Twilight Princess and play Oendan all day...and just draw and paint and listen to music...and make my animecon costume and make my prom dress...so many things i want to do but i can't because of school and me wanting to be social...

maybe i should just lock myself away in my room for a few months...

i can't explain it, but i feel as if something is heavy in my chest, and i know it's not my heart because then i would be more melodramatic...but it is as if there is a weight on my entire body and it is hard to move or think...i just keep wishing that i was a different person...someone who doesn't have to go through all of this...

but i have to keep trying don't i...i have to keep going...giving up is not an option...and suicide is definitely an inconvenience for everyone else though i wonder what death is like...hm...

sigh...

at least the stars are still beautiful

Taking four AP classes was a mistake...boo

but at least AP art was fun

Thanks for the comments Sarah...and where the fuck were you at school today, bitch? Where's my Oendan????

Wow, it's been such a long time since I've been on this site... I guess it's because I've been so busy with school and art class that I really have only been on the computer for only homework...

Well, after summer school, I will try to load more art from this past year.  I've actually been sticking to more traditional paintings and sketching, however, I have done a few anime drawings.  

I'll update later.

And considering making another Pokemon comic featuring more mysteries of the pokemon world, such as the food chain and Pokemon poaching! <3

i went to the most awesome wedding yesterday...

my boyfriend's sister was so beautiful...and the bridesmaids dresses were so lovely...

and the jewelry was all gemstones and were handmade...

and i actually had my makeup done... >o<

i can't wait till my wedding where i can dress so prettily pretty pretty...

<333